Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
