Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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