he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
