The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
These tits shall not be calmed
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
