You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
