these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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