I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
