College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
