We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
