I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My feet surprised me
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