I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
