She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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