The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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