theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
