Fine. I'll sleep in my office
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
