And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
