i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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