Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
