dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Your penis caused this!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
