He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
