I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
