Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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