I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Its guy fieris flavor town of sufferingâ„¢
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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