Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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