idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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