i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My ass is underappreciated
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
