Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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