In the future we'll all be gay
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
