I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
