Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
