If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
