Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
