I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
