Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
