He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
