Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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