she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
