You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
