Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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