Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
