4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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