you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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