I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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