I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
