yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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