There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
