I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
