I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
