Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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