You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
